You are Diocletian!

Diocletian was a cavalry commander who usurped power on the assasination of Numerian. Diocletian was a firestorm of political, monetary and governmental reform and introduced power sharing in the principate with the Tetrarchy, with himself as senior Augustus. On a darker note, Diocletian's rule saw the worst persecutions of Christians ever.

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Pretty vacant

You are empty and shallow but it suits you, it really does.

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Una Paloma Blanca

'I can smell the new-mown hay, For my golden sky light way' It may not be Christmas everyday but with Slim you get the smell a shredded lawn... Your problem is clearly due to a childhood phobia of garden furniture and more specifically gnomes. Perhaps in your youth a young relative used to take potshots at you with the his latest xmas toy gun. Don't worry keep your nose in the grass Una Paloma Blanca.

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An uncontrollable urge to kick everyone in range but you haven't got any legs Davros.

You lack the maturity to deal with human relationships and when things get tough your friends get a kicking. You think it is witty and amusing; you are wrong because leo has wrenched Cancer's claw off and thrown it Pisces. Top tip: grow up.

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Reptilicus

You pine for a giant lizard to be discovered beneath your very own research laboratory. You clearly need to make up for lost time: join the Open University, complete a module in Lizard Science, dig a hole underneath a chemist and see what happens. You are quite a misguided person.

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A true Englishman, the new Noel Coward

You say you would eat your friend but at least you would have more to write about. You would be assured to have a poignant effortless turn of phrase even when you are in difficult moral situations. Your interest in lyric writing benefits yourself and everybody.

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Nasty Bunny/Fox cross breed

You are the most dangerous creature in the woods. You lure poor un-expecting creatures to their doom and take great pleasure in it. You have a mesmerising power that you abuse regularly.

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