What Kind Of Dog Should I Get?

Children? I can't take care of myself. I might. My dog will be my only child. My kids are already grown. Yes, definitely.

. . . ask your kids where they left the dog's leash. . . . lace up your shoes and stretch. . . . peel yourself away from the couch and turn off the tv. . . . pick out matching jackets for you and your dog. What? I have to walk this thing?

"How far do you guys run each day?" "How much are you feeding that thing?" "Is that a dog?" "Your dog is so great with your kids." Nothing. My dog stays home.

In bed, with my kids. In my room. On a silk cushion next to my head. Out in the kennel behind the house. We fell asleep on the couch last night.

Filet Mignon Pedigree potato chips and pizza Science Diet Active whatever is on sale at Walmart

. . . be great with my kids. . . . go jogging with me or do agility. . . . lay around with me all day. . . . stand out in a crowd. . . . take care of itself.

. . . big, soppy fun dogs. . . . cats and goldfish. . . . fat, fluffy, lazy dogs . . . small, pretty, Paris Hilton dogs. . . . smart, energetic dogs.