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Chose A New President Of Germany
Take a poll to decide who should be the head of the German State
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Whom should Angela Merkel nominate as the next President of the Federal Republic of Germany?
Hans-Dieter Genscher
True, Helmut Kohl would make a better choice, but he is in a wheelchair and appears to have a speech impairment, so Genscher is the remaining BRD leader from the Einheit
Kaser Franz, geboren Beckenbauer
Ok, if there is one person who has done more for Germans sense of pride than Raab, it is Franz Beckenbauer, former German national team captain and later trainer. In both roles he led the team to victory in the World Cup. Finally, he organised the 2006 World Cup, hosted by Germany and considered by many to be the finest Cup ever. In fact, it was this event that did more to establish Germany as a "normal" country of which its citizens can be proud than any other.
Lothar de Maizère
He's already been head of the German State, but the wrong one. The only head of state of the German Democratic Republic (DDR) elected in a free election, he was a lame duck pretty much from the moment he was elected, good practice for a ceremonial job. The downside is that the government would then be headed by two East Germans.
Margot Honecker
Sure, she avoids prosecution for crimes against humanity, or at least class crimes against the Bougeiosie, by avoiding extradition in Chilé, but think of the possibilities of starting every speech with "Dear Comrades!" We would have to stipulate that she immitate her late husbands speech patterns, of course.
Stefan Raab
The master of late night television and German pop music has produced such hits as Stefanie Hunzmann (who, as a Swiss is ineligible to be German Chancellor) and Lena, winner of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest. There is nearly no one who has done more for German pride.
Thomas Gottschalk
Sure, he's not as cynical as Simon Cowell, but it is hard to think of someone with a greater influence on German culture over the past two decades. Wetten Das can migrate to being a political show, with the President holding court on his enormous sofa. Plus, Gottschalk has that awesome wardrobe that will demonstrate cutting edge German fashion. Maybe we can even get him to move back to Germany for the job!
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