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Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
You might have done an NBA quiz where you get compared to LeBron, but how about someone who is actually more at your talent level?
Başla
Paylaş
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
Your go-to move is...
Soru 1 out of 7
Being useless.
Blocking shots, running the full length of the court and throwing one down. Also, poor hygiene
Blue Steel
BOARDS
Capping a dude that looked at you sideways
Flapping your arms, blocking shots.
Glaring sullenly at team-mates when they refuse to go to a screening of
Helping people pronounce your name.
Hitting a swag of buckets, then never being heard from again.
Jacking up a 3 when you CLEARLY should be going inside to try and post up
Putting a comb in yo fro.
Raining 3's until you've built a house, wishing for the good old days.
Running...and running...and running...
Setting an awkward pick, then trying to box out.
Swearing loudly in a language that may or may not exist.
Tearing your shirt open after any and every play.
Warming the bench for real players.
Waving a towel.
Weeping during important games.
Writing a Haiku.
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
In college you attended...
Soru 2 out of 7
A Baltic military academy
A bleak, soulless campus somewhere slightly West of Siberia.
A community college, and be damn grateful you had that
Any required, indoors lecture or tutorial.
Anywhere that approved my VISA
Aspen
Chemistry
Derek Zoolander's School For Kids Who Can't Read Good
Hairdressing for amateurs.
Juvie
Mark Madsen's Institute Of Hustle
Mostly Euro-raves.
Nothing...but should have
Politics
Safe driving classes
Somewhere small, unassuming and very fortunate. Like George Mason.
Sunnydale High
This little college in Western Europe, where you weren't heaps well known or popular but one time you almost asked out this cute girl that you saw at a frat party, but then she smiled at you shyly and you got all nervous and started stammering and lo
To bidness. Attended to bidness, nowadamean? Word. Get out of my grill, before I kill you.
Weightlifting classes, Gym, shifty back alleys where people may have distributed illegal PED's.
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
In a clutch situation with the game on the line, you would...
Soru 3 out of 7
Be aware that coach has better options than you.
Be on the bench but aware that you could contribute better than half your starters.
Block a shot, but be unaware of what you've done
Chuck up buckets like there's no tomorrow (here's a tip: there might not be)
Crawl into the foetal position and weep hopelessly.
Hiss threateningly at opponents, maybe eyeball that cute Luke Walton.
Make some great hustle plays, use your gigantic wingspan.
Most likely get traded.
Screw it up.
Set a screen, hustle, energy, commitment, hair, scream animalistically.
Start swinging at your team-mates, blame them for your lack of heart.
Take a rebound, look around desperately for someone else.
Take any and every shot that comes your way, no matter what half of the court you were in.
Take it yourself, without any conscience.
THREE! THREE! THREE!
Throw the ball off the backboard to yourself to get an extra rebound and, hopefully, assist.
Throw up an air ball, then throw up on the sideline.
Try your little heart out.
Wait for the starting centre to get fouled out.
Watch from the sidelines
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
Growing up, you always dreamed you would be...
Soru 4 out of 7
A garbageman
A large, expiring contract
A male model
A member of ZZ Top
A pro snowboarder
A team cancer
A warrior in the USSR armed forces
Allowed to dye your hair.
Bob Marley
Chieftain of your father's tribe
Clean
French
In an ABBA tribute band
Indoors
Making sausages
More than a one-hit wonder
More than just initials
Pronounceable
Talented
Useless
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
Post-game, you are most likely to be...
Soru 5 out of 7
Applying sunblock.
Asking for a lift home from a teammate
Begging coach for another 10-day contract.
Being useless.
Car-jacking
Chatting up women of dubious physical health.
Composing a letter to the President about your anti-war sentiments.
Icing your ageing back and knees.
Lost in your own reflection
Patiently explaining to reporters how to spell your name.
Punching the wall, just for kicks.
Reading the latest Stephanie Meyer tween novel.
Shaking uncontrollably, trying not to have a fix.
Sneering at people telling him to take a bath
Stoned
Surfing the Net, checking snow reports.
Talking in corners with unshaven, threatening men.
Telling your posse how well you played, regardless of what actually happened.
Washing Kobe's dirty laundry.
Wondering if you wander the streets, will people recognise you?
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
If you were an animal, you would be...
Soru 6 out of 7
A baboon
A crab
A ferret
A fieldmouse
A gorilla
A hyena
A jackal
A lemur
A mosquito
A pig
A prancing stallion
A rhinoceros
A Siberian tiger
A stick insect
A tapir
A vampire bat
A vulture
A yellow-footed rock wallaby
An albatross
An orangutan
Which Obscure Nba Player Are You?
If you could play on one team that best typifies you, who would it be?
Soru 7 out of 7
Any team that's really, really useless.
Boston: Where great role players go to die.
Cleveland: Great team chemistry, but no one except LeBron is really required.
Denver: Great slopes
Detroit: Home of second chances. To most.
Golden State: Sunny, happy, lots of running.
Indiana: Run, commit, hustle.
LA Clippers: Perennial underachievers.
LA Lakers: Pretty boy showboaters
Memphis: Lucky to be in the league, but surprises on occasion
Miami: Because if you can't get what you need there, move to Phoenix.
New Jersey: Eastern seaboard, near the big city, convenient swamplands to dump bodies.
New York: All the better to hide in shadows and paint your nails in drainpipes. Plus a recent history of suckiness.
Oklahoma City: Highest likelihood to stay out of trouble.
Orlando: Based almost entirely around 3-point shooting.
Orlando: Cos there's no NBA in Louisiana.
Philadelphia: Hard working souls
Portland: Very forward-thinking, Pacific Northwest, urban and civilised
Toronto: The closest thing to Europe
Washington: As close to your college history as you can get.
Jerrell_Bednar
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