Which Incubus Song Best Describes You?

Break up with them before they have the chance. Cheat on them with someone even more attractive, but not necessarily as appealing, emotionally. Discreetly plan revenge upon them for several weeks, and give up, realizing you must not have made them happy. Find the person they were cheating on you with and politely ask them to step off. Find the the person they were cheating on you with and violently threaten their existence. Reveal to them you know and ask them politely to choose. "Whichever makes you happy." Show your partner that you are the best person for them by showering them with gifts and attention. Threaten your partner that, "If you don't break it off, I will..."

A catchy beat that everyone will love. A smooth groove, a jazzy entry or exit that defines your sound. A shout-out to that special person, they know who they are. A twenty minute long instrumental, in fact throw out the sheet music. More power, Dragonforce style. More power, it isn't "in your face" enough. Pop Culture refernces throughout, show them you know everything about it. Your name in every line. The gotta know who to pay for this brilliance.

Ask them what they want to do, then vehemently argue for your own choice. Blame them for the power outage, go fix the generator, and realize you had unplugged everything that night. Combine his/her activity with yours and make a game of it. Find out what their activity is then make it the best they've ever had. Leave them to their business, their troubles aren't yours. Participate in their chosen activity with a smile. Participate in their chosen activity with a smile. Tell them, "We're gonna do this, and you'll like it!"

Glare menacingly at them as if to say, "You ruined my life!" Invite them to a threesome with Chuck Norris, and not show up. Keep your eyes down so as not to inadvertenly strike up a conversation. Smile and give them a hug, ask they've been, and introduce them to your new significant other as, "The Old Flame." Smile and wave, wish them a good day. Strike up conversation, in which you finally persuade them into the realization that you were and are the best thing for them. Show them a picture of your new beau, "And they're so-o-o much better than you at everything." Wonder why they're so happy that they ruined your life, and think back realizing, you ruined theirs.

Ask what they've been doing, they look so much like the teacher from the yearbook. Patiently wait for their tea, drink with them, and leave. Snark on them about their obvious frailties. Show them how you have expanded and built upon their teachings. Show them that you too, are a professor, and notice their pride. Show them that your not the little b*****d they thought you were, revealing your massive, Trump-like empire. Welcome them to the table and wait in them, hand and foot. Yell and scream at them about how the failing grades you got in their class(es) ruined your career, and thank them for showing you that it was in fact your own fault.