How Classy Are You?

Coat tails and ties. Lace gloves. A tuxedo or a dress. Top hat and cane. Perhaps a monocle or a diamond tiara. Sneakers and jeans. A simple jacket if it's cold. A few accesories. Parties are nothing special, after all. Whatever I feel like at the time. No need to get fancy.

Carefully remove a royal cuban cigar from your case and take 15 minutes explaining its fine qualities before bestowing it on him. Laugh derisively as you puff away on your enormous meerschaum pipe. Tell your servant to kick him in the shin and leave a letter explaining that he must first seek permission before addressing you.

Bash him across the skull with your cane. Loudly ask him where he got all those chips. Take him aside to conduct a lengthy moral lecture about the various ethical consequences of his actions.

Declare that half the town is aware of his mother's sexual habits. Gut him. Save his spleen as a trophy. Ignore him. He obviously was not talking to you.

In a calm tone, announce that while we're being honest, perhaps he'd like to know what it is you think of him. Take out a list of his bad qualities as well as some reading glasses and proceed. Set his house on fire. Blame someone else. Snicker to yourself. Shake his hand and tell him it's been a pleasure working for him. Leave quietly.