Send your messed up friend their own Dysaffirmation

Choose your gift:

I will define myself by the uses of my genitalia.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
I will define myself by the uses of my genitalia.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com I will define myself by the uses of my genitalia.

Mother Nature is an intolerant bitch!
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Mother Nature is an intolerant bitch!

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Mother Nature is an intolerant bitch!

Today I will dull the pain with carbohydrates.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Today I will dull the pain with carbohydrates.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Today I will dull the pain with carbohydrates.

I will take a stand against nature and water my plants with bleach.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
I will take a stand against nature and water my plants with bleach.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com I will take a stand against nature and water my plants with bleach.

If the government can steal, so can I.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
If the government can steal, so can I.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com If the government can steal, so can I.

In an effort to garner sympathy, I will wear an eye-patch.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
In an effort to garner sympathy, I will wear an eye-patch.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com In an effort to garner sympathy, I will wear an eye-patch.

Anger is for people who don’t know how to get even.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Anger is for people who don’t know how to get even.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Anger is for people who don’t know how to get even.

Hope is for the beautiful and rich.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Hope is for the beautiful and rich.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Hope is for the beautiful and rich.

Vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

Magic, like happiness, is just another lie we tell our children.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Magic, like happiness, is just another lie we tell our children.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Magic, like happiness, is just another lie we tell our children.

Today…I will love my body…at least 3 times…adding lubricant if necessary.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Today…I will love my body…at least 3 times…adding lubricant if necessary.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Today…I will love my body…at least 3 times…adding lubricant if necessary.

I will join support groups to compare victim stories and embellish to make me more pitiful.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
I will join support groups to compare victim stories and embellish to make me more pitiful.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com I will join support groups to compare victim stories and embellish to make me more pitiful.

Medication is for people not committed to their dysfunction.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Medication is for people not committed to their dysfunction.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Medication is for people not committed to their dysfunction.

Today I will constantly reject myself.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Today I will constantly reject myself.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Today I will constantly reject myself.

Humanity is inherently evil.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Humanity is inherently evil.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Humanity is inherently evil.

Today, I will attain notoriety regardless of what I have to do.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Today, I will attain notoriety regardless of what I have to do.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Today, I will attain notoriety regardless of what I have to do.

Black covers flab.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Black covers flab.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Black covers flab.

I am illusive, ambiguous and undiagnosable by psychologists.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
I am illusive, ambiguous and undiagnosable by psychologists.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com I am illusive, ambiguous and undiagnosable by psychologists.

In love and sex, it’s the quantity not the quality.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
In love and sex, it’s the quantity not the quality.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com In love and sex, it’s the quantity not the quality.

If I don’t do it perfectly the first time, I will stop trying.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
If I don’t do it perfectly the first time, I will stop trying.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com If I don’t do it perfectly the first time, I will stop trying.

Mooching is not spending.
Dysaffirmations ™ By Coupledumb.Com
Mooching is not spending.

Dysaffirmations™ by CoupleDumb.com Mooching is not spending.