Worst Candy Ever

You will answer a poll revealing the worst candies...ever.

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What is the worst commercial candy, ever?

Black Jack Taffy First of al, black licorice is the most bitter and foul-tasting excuse for a snack ever conceived. It is enjoyed by no one except for men over the age of 60 and the starving homeless. Secondly, it should never be integrated with anything. Especially salt-water taffy.

Candy Cigarettes I remember wanting these as a kid, and pretending to "smoke" them, just as my mom smoked her real cigarettes. These are not untasty, but could be perhaps the most diabolical scheme ever hatched involving the cigarette companies, as it appears that candy makers and Phillip Morris were in cohoots. Did no one think to market Pixie Sticks as "Candy Cocaine"?

Coconut Neopolitan Sundaes This nastiness is the first candy that comes to mind when I hear "Brachs" and that's pretty unfortunate. These strange coconut-laced chewy confections will rip out your fillings if left in a cold room, and the flavors (if you can call them that) taste so unbelievably artificial and synthetic it wouldn't shock me if they were more nuclear war-resistant than Twinkies.

Jelly Nougats Another toxic disaster from Brach's. These little blocks of nougat contain irritating pieces of some sort of jelly/gummy blend, making them resemble tiny, moldy fruitcakes. These are most likely found in your grandparents' candy dish (they've been there since Christmas, 1986), possibly mixed in with some neopolitan sundaes (see above). If you're lucky around Christmas time you can find the ones with the little fir tree shapes in them.

Slow Pokes This rock hard, chewy caramel candy is delicious, but nearly impossible to eat. Many a child has lost their baby teeth (and possibly a few adult teeth) trying to gnaw their way into this steely caramel slab. The payoff isn't worth the effort, or the dental visits.

Wax Lips Candy wax. Shaped like lips. Let the fun ensue. Who decided that marketing wax as candy was a good idea? Candy wax tastes like, well, wax. And wearing wax lips is almost as disturbing as eating it. This atrocity will surface around Halloween, probably worn by your Great Aunt Edna in a fruitless attempt to charm (or horrify) small children.

Created by Pierre.Harber

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